My Five Actions to live my fullest life with debilitating Anxiety

6:00 AM


Anxiety is not who I am it is something that alters who I am and it is something I can learn to control and manage. For most my life I let my irrational fears determine my choices. I thought this is just who I am, I cannot help it, I am just broken. I would daydream a life where I could interact with people casually, to live in a world where I had a dozen close friendships with amazing fierce women but I believed that life would never be for me because I was too broken for that kind of life. But I was wrong! So Wrong! 

Debilitating anxiety is something you can work through ladies! For real! It’s a lot of work with ups and downs but you come out ahead. You can live a full life and manage anxiety at the same time. You can choose to do the scary thing that will get you to the thing that you want. Don’t let your anxiety be the dictator in your life. I encourage everyone to get professional help if they are living with debilitating Anxiety that is controlling your life. 


When I feel my anxiety trying to take over my life, which it likes to do whenever it can, I have a couple of go-to action plans that help me tremendously to get back on track and in control. Here are my five main things that I do that help me live a more rich and full life:

Identify Good anxiety from bad anxiety

One of the first things I had to learn was how to determine if something was good anxiety or bad anxiety. Did you know there was such thing as good anxiety? Good anxiety is when you are experiencing overwhelm and fear when you are trying to do something good in your life, make positive changes, or doing anything that will move you towards the better life that you want. Good anxiety is like having a girl’s night at your house and obsessing over whether you will say the right thing or if your décor is cute enough. You are having the girl’s night because you want to make stronger connections and friendships and the more girls nights you have the better it will get. Just do the thing. Change is terrifying but it is not bad. Bad anxiety is when your body is trying to warn you that you have done way too much and it’s time for some self-care and down time. After the scheduled amount of downtime, you need to get back up and challenge yourself some more. Down time can easily turn into depression if you are not regulating the time spent on it. 

Utilize Breathing Techniques

I have a go to breathing technique I use for on the spot anxiety attacks when my thoughts are spiraling out of control. It’s called square breathing: Take a big breath in and hold it for five seconds and then slowly let the air out over the course of counting to five. Then hold the air out and hold while counting to five. Breath in slowly and make that breathing in stretch over five seconds, hold for five seconds, let it out over five seconds, keep it out for five seconds, repeat. The science behind that is actually very sound, when you are panicking your start to breath in too much air and when you restrict your breathing and have less of it you cannot physically have a panic attack. Tip: Once you get your breathing under control, start to repeat I am safe here, I am in control, everything is ok. 

Take care of your physical health 

If you are not giving your physical body the things that it needs to thrive you will feel it in every area of your life. Make daily exercise a must no matter what. Exercise immediately changes chemicals all over in your body for the good. It is the number one thing you can do to improve almost any area of your life. Also make sure you are seeing your health physicians regularly no matter where you are located make it a priority, Utah Dentist, California Chiropractor, Atlanta Hearing Doctor, or seeing a Therapist in Canada. There are resources everywhere to help you get on your feet and living a more full life. If you have joint problems and stiff muscles see a physical therapist or take a hot yoga class. If you need to get palliative care for cancerdon’t wait any longer to invest in your body. It’s the only one you will ever get. Treat it like a queen. 

Write your top goals daily as if you already have achieved them

I love this little daily exercise so much. Practice writing down your top three goals you want to achieve in the “near future” every day before you start the rest of your day, but You have to write them down as if you have already accomplished them and don’t forget to be specific. You brain does not know the difference and you will start living a lifestyle that encompasses those goals and if you are living it, it’s easier to achieve it. Example: I am a loving mother who does not scream at her children. I weight a healthy 160 lbs. I just booked my first vacation through Santa Barbara Travel.  I have three close friends and I’m having them over for a girls paint night. 

Look outside yourself

First of all, I want to say anxiety is not narcissism. I was confused about this as well. People with anxiety overly care about others and are hyper aware of themselves to the point of destructiveness. Often, we are really hard on ourselves and pick at ourselves and how we interact with others, we are so busy being mean to ourselves that we often don’t see the people right in front of us who need us. We often are so concerned about saying the right thing so we don’t offend anyone that we can’t concentrate on what that person is actually saying to us. We have to learn to be ok sitting still and just listening and being. Letting the mental spotlight fall on the other person by Imagining a big light shining down on them and they are the only anyone can see or hear, pretend you are invisible and your only job is to listen and not to plan how you will respond. You will see you will be able to respond even better without pre-planning it. Also step outside yourself by finding ways to serve the people around you and do acts of service. Throw yourself into the service of others and forget yourself for a while, it is a lovely vacation. Be okay just being a support staff, a minion, a go-fer. We don’t have to be the center of attention and doing earth shattering act of kindness to make an impact. Small simple quiet things are just as vital. Visit a neighbor, support a good cause or Donate something you don’t need anymore. Donating your gently used clothes can also make a big difference in the lives of someone and free up some chaotic clutter in your life, click hereto find out where you can donate clothing to Habitat for Humanity. There are so many ways to serve others and I believe everyone has something to give and contribute to others. 

Im not a doctor or a therapist Im just a girl who has been working her butt off to manage her anxiety and live my best life with meaning a purpose. These are some of the most powerful things I do to get back on track and continue to knock off my check lists of progress. 

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