A whole long week of labor pains and one false visit to the maternity ward later we were finally going to meet our daughter. As my husband and I were waiting in our labor and delivery room for the nurse to come back and give us the news that out doctor was going to send us back home for the second time this week, we prepared ourselves for disappointment. I was sure this time it was it. I was having regular contractions eight to ten minutes apart for over 15 hours and this had been going off and on all week long. Then the nurse announced that the doctor was on her way to check things out herself. And when the doctor walked into the room she looked at me and said "Lets have this baby okay?" I was like "really! Thank the lord!" Up to this last week I was determined to not be induced and go into labor as naturally as possible except for getting an epidural. (Im a big baby when it comes to pain) I was determined not to have my water broke or get any pitocin but after a week of being in labor I was DONE! So within minutes of the doctors arrival she broke my water at around eleven at night. That was the moment it got really real to me. I couldn't believe this was happening. I was going to have a baby. No, really! I was going to have a baby! My husband and I kept looking at each other like we couldn't believe this was finally happening. It had been such a long nine months. The doctor and nurses got a kick out how much this all was blowing our minds especially since this was our third child. But keep in mind it had been over eight years since I had a kid and all this felt so new, plus my last delivery did not go so well so I had a lot of pint up anxiety.
After my water broke they checked me off and on all night with no further progress and about five hours later we decided I need some help with some pitocin after all. As the nurse administered the pitocin I was all sorts of nervous about not getting the epidural in time and asked if I should get the epidural now before the pictosin kicks in and starts to give me hard contractions. They said it was up to me. So I decided I was going to wait until It got too painful.
Fifteen minutes later I was waking up my sleeping husband telling him it was time to get up and tell the nurses to get in here with that epidural! I tell you what... That little bit of pictosin I did get sent me strait into hard core active labor. My body really responded to it... almost too good. I can't believed I lived trough getting an epidural while having to hold perfectly still through two of the most excruciating contraptions I can ever remember having. I was shaking and sweating through that whole thing. But man, when and epidural kicks in, it is so lovely!!! I hadn't felt that good physically in such a long time. I was in such a good mood, not just because the horrific contractions where gone but it was so nice just to not have all the pressure and aches and pains in my bones and joints. It was like half my body was made out of cool water. I was just smiling and chatting it up. And within two hours I dilated from a 2 to a 10!
At seven O clock the nurse checked me and said I was an 8 and she would be back in half an hour. I panicked and asked if she would come back in 15 minutes just to be safe. And sure enough I was a full 10 when she came back 15 minutes later. The doctor who had spent the whole night at the hospital came in and we all got ready. The coolest thing was that my husband got to deliver our baby with the help of our doctor. She had him put on scrubs and sit in her seat to pull our baby out. He was so nervous but I really wanted him to do it so he manned up for me. And he later said he was so glad he did and that it was such a neat experience.
I had a really good epidural and I could still feel pressure and I could feel when I was having a contraction and could push and feel the pushing. So I only ended up pushing for two contractions and she was out! She had the cord wrapped around her neck twice but the doctor was able to get it unwrapped when her head was only out, but my husband said it was kind of scary to see her all blue with the cord around her neck. Then before she was even out all the way she started making noise and taking her first breath. It was all so fast. Seeing my daughter for the first time as my husband reached out and placed her screaming beautiful body on my tummy was amazing! Half shaking, crying and laughing all at once I reached out and touched her and said softly "Hi". I was feeling so many emotions at once. I was amazed at finally meeting the daughter I had grown slowly over all those months in anticipation and couldn't believe she was finally here and that we had actually done it... created our daughter. It was so miraculous! And she was so beautiful and perfect with her perfect pink skin and and full head of thick dark strawberry blond hair. I felt so unvelivibly blessed. There was so much goodness and love in that room upon her arrival, the air was thick with it.
To: My Little Girl
Late at night when its just me and you hanging out staring at each other for who knows how long, I can't help but become overwhelmed with love and thoughts of your future. Right now you are so fresh and new, unwritten upon with endless possibilities before you and before us. Already I worry for you.,. To be in this world, for the choices we both will make in your life. My love for you is so great and so powerful, I am at your mercy in so many ways and you are at mine. I pray that this time around I will enjoy the smaller moments more and not get caught up in more worldly things and in being perfect. Your childhood is such a special time for both of us, and it goes by so fast that there will always be regrets. However, I want to try and have as few of those as possible and strive for us to create more positives than negatives. My hope for you is for you to grow up in a home that is safe and full of laughter, a place you will always come back to and a place filled with so many beautiful memories that it helps you to always know you are loved no matter what. I am so thrilled and feel blessed to add you to our journey and cannot wait to show you the world. I love you. Love mom.