Twas the month after Christmas... (humorous poem)5:30 AM
And all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
Not even a blouse.
And the chocolate I'd taste
At the holiday parties
Had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales
There arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber),
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter, disguised as a man!"
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional pounds have vanished.
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.